In the Ebb of Feb

My body is tired. Not exhausted. Just slumpy.
But I feel great. Basketball has been my past time.
For the last few months. Mom, Cousin Dave, Uncle Paul-
We all play 'horse' or 'pig' a few times a week. We have a hoop
in our court yard (parking lot) and it helps me relax when I get
home from work. More often than not, I ride my bicycle home but
still feel like getting my body moving and my heart pumping.
Sports-playing is therapy for me. It takes me out of my head and
I am ever-so grateful for that.

Mom's been getting quite good at b-ball! I would say I can't believe it.
But when you get out on the court frequently, you get better...
I am so proud of her. She's been playing frequently.

Seriously, my life couldn't be better. I have a job. A decent job working
with decent people. I'm learning new things there. For the good or bad,
I'm learning to speak up when I need to because otherwise certain folks
will just chew you up and spit you out if you don't take a stand. I'm learning
to be more confident in my tasks and taking initiative. I do a lot of talking on
phone which I enjoy compared to starring at the computer screen creating documents.

I have a family to love. I don't think I have been closer to any of my family
members. I listen to great music and sing when I cook food. I am so grateful
to come home to a clean and healthy home.
.....

Family History
More good news is that I have learned more about my family history. My aunt Cathy
put together a family tree years back, however, I didn't take much interest when
my Mom showed it to me then. A few days ago, I started reading it and made some great
observations. Those documents tell me that my Mom's dad side of the family were Germans living in Russia.

The text says "On June 4th, 1871, the Imperial Russian Government issued a decree abrogating the manifestos of Catherine the Great and Alexander I". As German colonists, my family didn't have too many concerns about living in Russia before the decree, however, this all changed. So in the late 1800s, tens of families left Europe and sailed across sea into New York. Eventually, some emigrated to Nebraska. They were some of the first Germans to settle in Sutton, Nebraska. There, Mom's grandpa's parents got it on. They conceived Mom's grandpa. And it was there that Mom's grandpa got it on and had Paul Otto Schwarz, Mom's papa.

One of the ironies of this family thread is that Mom's papa fought in WWII. For the US, of course. As he was in engineer on a B-52 bomber, a "Flying Fortress", his plane was shot down in 1943 over his family's original country, Mother Germany. Yet, he survived being a prisoner of war for about a year. Mom still has her mother's newspaper and Western Union telegrams stating "Your husband is missing" to "Your husband is now a prisoner of war". Quite frightening I must say to a wife who was taking care of her only child at the time. Eventually, his crew and himself were released from the German prison camps and safe back home.

Years later, they had 5 more children. My mother the third down the line after her father came back from war.

All of this is just now unimaginable to me. I can never even attempt to understand what was going on in my grandpa's(or grandma's) head while he was a prison of war. I heard he tried to escape a few times. Maybe he just wanted to be back where his wife and child were living yet he stood in his own kin's backyard.

However, maybe he was prepared to do something ever-so-risky as his ancestors did when they sailed on a ship on the Atlantic ocean seeking a better life away from the Imperial Russian government.
.....

So, here I am in the midst of this beautiful life. It's not always been this way but as I told my Uncle Paul after a long game of '21' in basketball (he beat me), I mention I am so grateful for everything that has happened up to this moment because this is the happiest I've ever been. After some discussion about death, attempting to find the reasons why things happen, I just smile and live another day.
......


No matter how hard I try, I will never understand the depth of this existence. I just can't. Maybe when I die, I will. But until then, why not have the funnest, most grandest life one could possibly live.