Let it be in January

Already two months have passed and here we are in midst of the end of 2011.
I am 29 years old now and I don't feel a day over nor younger. I have had the great privilege to encounter people that have provided a sense of love, care, and compassion. And to that, I admit, that I am truly blessed.

The road to life seems to be full of highways and byways, detours and stop signs, but it seems as though I"m addicted to what life has to offer. Because some of the people in my life have supported me, I am in absolutely enthralled with the beauty of life. I seem to have a cockeyed way at looking at things but all in all, there is relief in that I am learning to love life. I admit that I tend to see the world for all of its ugly and beauty simultaneously. For that, there are bouts with downs and ups.

2012 approaches and I am here in Sacramento working full time for the American Red Cross. I think about my girlfriend in France. Mom and I spend time together laughing and conversing while tolerating each other in midst. My Dad and I have been hanging out occasionally. My sister and I are having good chemistry. Mom, Dad, Melissa and I all spent time together during Christmas day and it was wonderful.

Life is beginning to unfold with clarity and memory. The days of fog are wearing off and tend to have more of a linear outlook in assessing what is going on with my life. This is a good feeling. Of course, this comes with several implications. My work demands such thinking and the result of this has provided me with a renewed way at looking at my life. That is, logic is becoming clearer to my unilinear way of approaching my daily living. Yet, I still maintain my right-mindedness through different mediums.

The last weeks, I have been thinking much about re-entering improv comedy and taking scene lessons once again. The idea of marching back on stage takes hold of my attention. Acting, to me, has always meant being- the state of. I still hold that unilinear and lateral thinking are my prioritized ways of intellectualizing the world around me. In other words, I am learning to become more rational through my intellect yet my imagination's foot is still pressing the unilinear gas pedal. I'm finally learning to articulate myself better. This allows me to better communicate with the people around me whom I hold so dear to my life. I hope that I can return the favors to them. Yet, I know that things that have been passed my way cannot be returned equivalently.

I'm so grateful for this opportunity to have life at this age within this space and time. I know I can be a thinker that thinks "larger than life", but rest assure, I've seen people fall- who are now alive or dead, and I have learned about the fragility of life. I recognize how gentle human beings are and it amazes me that not only I am still alive to enjoy the beauty of it all but that I have encountered so many people that have their positive antennas in full function despite the tremors that inevitably will happen.

I will begin now to live the rest of my life even better. Stargate 2012 here I am.